*sings* "...rolling down the road. Best notify my next of kin, this wheel shall explode". Absolutely shocking.

No, not a post about the new Band Aid song, but an observation that the BBC's series of reports into the "planet under pressure" are incredibly informative, well presented and interesting. Certainly food for thought. They're worth a browse if you have some spare time. Maybe I should insist that you make time? This is the planet afterall.

Oh, and I prefer the old Band Aid song by a long way, but the fact that the new one sounds awful shouldn't be a reason not to buy it and not support the cause.

I shall bide my time until this place gets around to finishing its MSc package.

Oh come on: Ukraine, Ukraine, Ukraine, Zimbabwe and the Cricket, Zimbabwe again. The Queen’s Speech and I.D. cards, Blair and Blunkett, Blair again (impeachment), and Blunkett again (re. the nanny of his ex lover). Dumping of fridges, the IRA, Millennium centre in Cardiff (opening, 4 years too late?), acrobatic pandas, and the stance on bullying.

I think Ukraine and Zimbabwe push a relatively normal week on the home-front into a week of greater consequence, thus deserving of a magnificent...

Sometimes Oxford City Council gets it right. And sometimes it gets it spectacularly wrong. Christmas Lights. Cast your mind back to last year: those fluffy dancing penguins covered in fake snow in the Westgate Centre and those suicidal looking Father Christmases positioned on random shops. This year, the Westagate Centre looks rather tasteful with streams of twinkling white lights. Cornmarket is passable, as is the Broad that looks rather tasteful. However, the Christmas Tree outside Balliol. What a disaster. To start with, the tree itself is lopsided and the branches are very spaced out. Second, the lights are atrocious. They tiny coloured bulbs are strung vertically down the tree, rather than horizontally wrapped around. Half-way round the tree, the lights begin to criss-cross and look extremely haphazard and awful! I hate to think what it will look like actually come the 12th Day when the tree has battled through the elements. Can the Council not go for a little more class next year?

Just three vaguely interesting facts that I have discovered this morning. First, did you know that parts of the Ashmolean will be closed from 2005-2008 for a large redevelopment? Second, apparently there will be a ballet-cum-musical in the West End next year on the life and death of Diana, Princess of Wales. Obviously it will be wholly sympathetic to the princess, whilst Camilla Parker Bowles is cruelly portrayed as a dominatrix in jodhpurs, attacking the Prince of Wales with a whip. Sounds absolutely hilarious. And thirdly, to stay slim (like French women), the key is regualr meals and lots of "physical activity".

A few weeks ago, I wrote a letter to my MP in order to draw his attention to an EDM about interns in Westminster. I received a satisfactory reply last week. What is amazing, though, is the gum used on the House of Commons envelopes. It has been open for a week now, left in the air, by a heater, and the thing still sticks to anything that comes within 10cm of it. It will happily dangle on my hand all day if I let it. Remarkable.

According to a survey of non-English speakers, “Mother” is the most beautiful word in the English language. The other results in the top five are passion, smile, love, and eternity. I can’t help feel that these are words chosen for their meaning, rather than how they sound - surely the reason behind the survey since it involved a group of non-English speakers. I’m not so sure about “kangaroo” at 50, or “oi” at 61 though. I think that on the sentiment front my favourite word would have to be “hug” or “home”, but I do think “spaghetti” is a fantastic word too! Any other suggestions?

I am so, so sorry:

There’s nothing quite like sex with an ox. I mean, I know that in some countries, including Britain, this is unacceptable, but hell, there’s nothing I like more than going to my local squire and going asking if he has any oxen for hire. Of course, sometimes things aren’t so simple. I hate the whole process of having to woo the ox – usually in the form of a bow or two, but some of them won’t take anything other than a piano recital. Woe betide, though, anyone who is foolhardy enough not to go through the process. Such scorn turned the last person into flakes, such was the wrath of the oxen. Of course, this could have been because he was a mod, and oxen are very picky about the fashion status of their potential partners. Ponchos are a favourite, although I personally find they disrupt my qi. Rumour is that standards are going to get even higher, and the squire is purchasing a lute for future wooing. When asked to comment, the squire said “Well, I owed it ‘em, really. A sexual ox fetches high prices at market, so I want to make sure they’re as horny as possible.” When pressed, he failed to substantiate the link between musical instrument and bodily appendages (although ox lovers will be aware that such links can be made quite easily). Some commentators, however, think that the rise of lute demanding oxen is a sign of elitism within the ox community. An NFU spokesman said “I remember the days when each ox was happy with a recorder and nothing else. Lutes and other high ‘falutin instruments are not only unnecessary but a sad indictment of our ox schools.” Of course, it is doubtful whether it all matters for the true ox lovers. Despite its intricacies, I fully expect to learn the lute in order to continue my passion.

A quote from Prescott's "final quick word" on fuxhunting, taken from the Today programme yesterday. Source: Telegraph, p4.

“Well, I don’t think it was the biggest issue in the world. I think it’s a very big issue to people who actually do the hunting. Fine, but that’s always so with interest groups who feel very strongly about their position. But I think the majority of people in my constituency, quite frankly, just see it as one of those kind of tally-ho, tally-ho issues which have nothing to do with modern Britain”.

Absolute classic. If that is the case, and no one cares, then why not just leave people to get on with it and stop wasting so much time debating it?

I can't help this. I realise this will be blogged by just about everyone, but a piece of cheese on toast said to bear the image of the Virgin Mary has sold for a vast sum to a casino.

There are so many amusing features to this story that I don't know where to start, although I'm certainly going to try to work it into a discussion of relics in my history class this evening. Firstly, the sole bite mark out of the bottom corner is an exquisite artistic touch of which even Tracey Emin would be proud. Secondly, the dire warning posted by the vendor that the item is "not for consumption" is wonderful, as is the apparent "miracle" which has preserved the toast for nigh on a decade. Parodies have now appeared elsewhere online, but the happy victor in the bidding war has declared the toast a "piece of pop culture". Not a piece of pop tart, apparently, but instead some Welsh exceedingly rarebit.

Apparently British TV shows dominated the Emmy Awards last night and won six out of seven awards. The list of winners are Brat Camp, The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off, The Illustrated Mum, Waking the Dead, George Orwell: A Life in Pictures and Henry VIII (a mini-series). I haven't watched a single program. Is that a good or bad thing?

"Britain's Biggest Dinosaur Found".

Google Scholar has been getting some publicity over the last few days, so I've just been giving it a go to see what it does, and I'm pretty impressed.

Granted, it struggled when I just put "Clovis" in, coming back with a tonne of journals of mathematics which might conceivably have mentioned the town of Clovis in the US, but once I got to matters more clearly associated with history, it started to do the business. Typing in my tutor's name revealed no fewer than 64 articles either by him or referring to him, and when I clicked on "Library Search" for one entry, it acknowledged that I was based at Oxford University and presented me with a link to OLIS. Then I tried a book I need - "Columbanus and Merovingian Monasticism" - which it found, but only as a citation from a journal article, since the book itself is (sadly) not online. Which means I'm going to have to go out and find it on this cold, cold morning. Try as it might, Google still isn't making my life as simple as I'd like. Brrr.

Ozzy Osbourne has had his Buckinghamshire mansion broken into.

I was hoping for the delicious slice of irony that would have been one of the burglars attacking Ozzy with a bat. Alas, no.

Well, not really, since I'm hardly the first to suggest it. But still, the BBC is now reporting that Oliver Letwin is considering a number of alternatives to the current status of Stamp Duty. My (brief) take on it is here. Surely CCO beckons...

Apologies for missing last week's Dayoramic. I would have probably agreed with OJ about most of what he said, although I'd have been inclined to award the week a 7, not an 8, as I didn't feel it truly merited such a high mark.

As Amy pointed out, there has been plenty of royal activity this week, but again I'm not sure about her use of a 7. We need newsflashes and extended coverage to satisfy the examination criteria for a 7, and whilst Arafat's death and the Berkshire train crash both merited their own BBC In Depth sections, neither Prince Charles nor Prince William managed to summon up that level of interest in their words of wisdom, or lack thereof. I'd be inclined to award the week a 4 on that particular front.

Elsewhere and in the wider news sphere, the ban on hunting must dominate. It certainly has potentially far-reaching consequences, is likely to be revisited in future (particularly if the Tories are voted in), and is not an issue which will go away despite this week's climax to events. Will this week be in the memory in a year's time? Perhaps not, so hunting gets a 7. Margaret Hassan's death, whilst tragic and yet another indictment of the human predicament in the 21st century, is similarly unlikely to capture the attention of the public in the long term, and may be afforded a 6. Finally, racism in Spain was a major issue both here and belatedly in Spain. Whilst the problem of racist abuse with relation to football is not going to go away, nor is this particular peak in activity going to be much of a landmark, beyond gaining the occasional reference from commentators in later years. It can get a 5.

All in all, this would have been a very average week for news were it not for the hunting saga, which tips it over the edge from a 5 to a...

One of the most annoying and, as I discovered, potentially costly inconveniences of this modern age is when people do not answer their mobile phones. This is not their fault - one cannot expect one's friends to be wed to their phones until death do part them - but in Waterstone's at around 4pm this afternoon, it robbed me of some sage advice at a crucial moment. I rang Amy to ask her a simple question, but I got no response. Nothing. Nihil.

I was stood on the ground floor trying to decide whether to buy The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. Critics have given this book a thunderous reception, in that it is supposed to be the best translation since some Latin scholar transformed Winnie the Pooh from simple Brit to Winnie Ille Pu, and I was very keen to read it.

However, like a badly built GE appliance, a single volt of thought trickled through me. It dawned on me that Christmas is almost nigh. Being the poor student that I am, I was aware that spending £12.99 on the book might mean that when I ate lunch an hour or so earlier, I might have eaten my last warm meal for quite some time. By contrast, I would be able to get some relation or other to get the book for me for Christmas, thus saving cash. But that would mean waiting a month! And what if they didn't end up getting me the book? I'd still have to get it myself and would have lost an entire month's reading time!

So there I was, doing a fractious little jig in the middle of the shop floor, listening to my impulsive id and my financial sense spar in my mind. Buying the book would be a stain on both wallet and conscience, but its inky merits were proving irresistible. I had no idea what to do. And so, like a man who had just mated with Jo Guest, I looked to see who I could phone about it. Amy was the obvious choice. Alas, no response, and no way was I going to be calling Aaron any time soon (you can tell I didn't get far down my list of contacts). I bought the book and immediately felt pangs of guilt. Yet I can hear it, sat next to me, purring contentedly in its new surroundings. And now, I shall read.

(I should mention that this post contains all the words which I used in Scrabble last night and thus fulfils the challenge Amy set for me. Words are: inky, ate, brit, volt, wed, stain, id, on, age, spar, pu, nihil, jo, ge, jig, mated, able)

Instead of rating the week in relation to “society” in general, I would just like to remark what a particularly busy week it seems to have been for the Royal Family. Beginning the week, both the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh honoured the war dead in the usual Remembrance Sunday fashion. Following from her aircraft near-miss last week, Princess Anne became very sour over a packet of crisps depicting a cartoon of the Princess. Prince William had an interview marking his final year at St Andrews where he stated that he may follow in brother Harry’s footsteps and join the Army. He was adamant that he would not be kept from “the front line”, just because he was heir to the throne. Reports have been in all broadsheets this weekend, accompanied by many pin-up style photos of the Prince. In addition, William has been described as the first royal “surf dude”, after surfing at a beach in Scotland. Finally, Prince Charles has had to deny being "out of touch" after several comments made regarding modern values and teaching methonds.

So all in all a rather eventful week for the Royals and no doubt their press-officers have been working over-time. Due to the escalated activity, it's only fair that they are awarded appropriately:

As you will be aware, Ollie has decided to become vegetarian again. Last night, for reasons that I can't remember, I agreed to become a veggie for the next week. I'm not sure I could do it much longer than that, but I shall try it for the next week and will report on what it's like at the end. I am most apprehensive about the "nut roast" repeatedly served as the vegetarian option in Hall, but maybe the fact I can eat lots of homous and roasted vegetable sandwiches will make up for this.

Last night saw us all playing a game of scrabble and then trekking off to see the Incredibles. I am sure Ollie will put his review of the film on the website shortly. Whilst playing scrabble, and debating the legitimacy of looking up two-letter words, it was decided (probably by me seeing as it is such a silly idea) to write a coherent paragraph including all of our scrabble words. My paragraph is below and all words played in the game are in italics. The cumulative scrabble scores have been changed as appropriate, but suffice to say, OJ won the game, followed by myself and Ollie brought up the rear, as it were. We have also decided to purchase a scrabble dictionary.

"Once upon a time there was a nun who thought it was her role in life to sit by a lake and watch the doves sour high in the sky. Despite her idyllic life spent listening to lutes and arranging flowers for vases in the nunnery, she was very unhappy. She knew that as soon as the first flake of snow fell in winter, and enormous zit would appear on her nose. She always tried to tug at it, hoping she could remove it. However this was to no avail and instead the stress induced by the state of her nose meant that she just turned to drink and smoking dinky little fags. This only compounded matters and meant that even more zits began to creep all over her face. The nun would jump up and down screaming “yi yi yi yi”, but still the spots remained until the Spring. The moral of this short tale is that smoking, drinking and jumping up and down on the spot screaming silly ditties never gets you anywhere in life. It would have been much better if the nun had just looked at her reflection and been able to smile back, zit and all. The End."

The world's oldest man (apparently) died today aged 113. It made me realise that if OJ and I lived until we were 117, or Ollie until he was 116, then we would have lived in three different centuries. Consequently, with life expectancy on the increase, it is quite probable that people born in the late nineties will indeed live to see three different centuries. Certainly something which would have been extremely unlikely to happen in the past.

If life expectancy does increase, then surely in developed countries the concept of "senior citizen" status at 60/65yrs will change - if you were a pensioner aged 65, and lived till you were 115, then you would have been an "adult" for 47 years and a pensioner for 50 years. That seems a bit of an inbalance to me, and would also spark major problems for pensions! There's many other associated issues too, but one which puzzles me is whether living to 115 for example would mean that you still "aged" at the same time that people who live until 80 do today? Would you loose hearing, memory, sight etc by 80 and then still live for another 35 years? Will scientific developments prevent degeneration? Lots of unanswered questions, some of which will no doubt reveal themselves in the next few years.

It’s all ok. The pigeons on the roof yesterday weren’t a bad omen. Well they were, but not for me. They were clearly sizing up the unworthy inhabitants of the pigeon community in Oxford and deciding which pigeon deserved to meet its rather ruffled end - there is currently a dead black pigeon on Turl Street.

The BBC has answered the age old question of who watches the watchers, by creating its own minisite focusing on its reporting, and any related issues. This may be old news to many people, but I hadn't noticed the sneaky introduction in early November of the NewsWatch bar to the very bottom of the BBC's news pages. And a very welcome introduction too, although there is always the obvious criticism that it is nigh on impossible to effectively police such a large organisation from within.

The site makes very interesting reading though, and isn't just the next step on the evolutionary ladder from Anne Robinson on Points Of View...

Much has been made of Wayne Rooney discarding his black armband, designed to remember Emlyn Hughes, as he was substituted just before half time during last night's debacle in Madrid.

This is unfair - Rooney clearly had the best interests not only of the armband but of English football and multiculturalism at heart. Having realised the abuse black players were getting, Rooney reached the logical conclusion that to take anything black off the pitch would be to surrender to the bigots, and thus deposited his armband squarely on the field of play, in full view. Score one for civilization.

The Times have run a series of articles this week regarding what is the greatest british invention/inventor. I am not going to pass comment on this at the moment, only to say I wish someone would invent a lever-arch file which doesn't explode, flinging paper across the room, when it falls on the floor. This is nearly as bad as when a hole-punch falls on the floor and all the little holes go absolutely everywhere. Both of these events have happened to me in the past 5 minutes. That's before 9am. There are fourteen pigeons lined up in the rain on the rooftop opposite my room. It feels like a scene from Daphne Du Maurier's, The Birds. Is this a bad omen for the day ahead?

Over dinner with OJ tonight I suddenly realised something. I was browsing at jobs online earlier (for the summer) and I saw a placement which required a Law Degree. Suddenly I realised that that will soon be me (with any luck, and if the infamous tutor doesn't despair first). In less a year, we will all have a BA from Oxford, which in a few more years will become an MA. I know this is a really obvious fact, but it put into perspective the fact that three years ago we hadn't even had our Oxford interviews, and now we are preparing to sit finals and walk away with a degree. It may seem like many people get Oxford degrees, but that's because we're at Oxford (my fantastic ability for stating the obvious strikes again). But, in reality we are just a small % of the population, and that my dears is a scary thought.

No longer plain old salt n vinegar, but now flavours of crisps such as horsesradish and sour cream are available and being described as "blue blooded" and "bracingly british". Do you think the manufacturer, Jonathan Crisp is endorsed by HRH QE II?

The Commons has voted by 321 to 204 to allow licensed fox hunting in England and Wales, provided that the fox is witnessed at all times by a Protestant and a Catholic churchman.

Making the hunt's acts of "putting foxes beyond use" more visible has been one of the major sticking points in negotiations.

The Tories backed the proposal if only "through gritted teeth", in the words of party spokesman James Gray.

He warned that if a priest got in the way at a crucial moment, "the people of the countryside will neither forget it or forgive it", contrary to scripture.

Rural Affairs Minister Alun Michael has also proposed confessional booths in which foxes may confess their sins before departing this world. "It is a common sense approach, I hope the House of Lords will accept it," he told the Today programme.

Speaking about who might be chosen as witnesses, the Moderator of the Presbyterian Church, Ken Newell, told the programme: "These have to be people who are trusted.

"These must be people whose word is their bond - people who don't smear themselves in Pledge and then roll around on the ground once the fox has gone past.

"They want people to speak the truth - to tell it as it is and be straight."

The last qualification was believed to have ruled out a sizeable proportion of the clergy.

-----
:: IRA arms move 'to be witnessed'
:: Fox hunting ban looks inevitable

Finally, a show worth seeing. The Telegraph reports today that the cartoon strip Alex is being turned into a 90 minute West End Show. Outstanding.

Some odd things happen on eBay. We all know that. Now, someone is bidding more than a tenner for a tenner. To see the £10 note in question, and the very, very dubious (yet amusing) reason for selling it online, follow the link. Remember to pay attention to its current high bid...

Radio One has been rattled by the death of John Peel.

As the great man was mourned by the nation, time after time people could be heard wondering where new, obscure, underplayed and genre-defining music would emerge, given that Peel increasingly came to be seen as an anomalous presence on the Radio One schedule. Surrounded by DJs pumping out chart hits, dance beats and RnB standards, Peel was Radio One's way of saying, "actually, we do care about all kinds of music and there's still room on this station for anything". With his death, the absence of anything else remotely like him on the station became immediately apparent - his replacement, the ridiculously named Rob Da Bank, has adequate credentials (his record label released Grand National's debut album), but he has nothing on Peel; after all, who does?

And so, faced with a gaping hole in its schedule and consequently in its output and its entire ethos, Radio One has launched a vigorous advertising campaign to reassure listeners that it will continue to push back the boundaries of popular music. "In New Music We Trust", it proclaims in a series of slots airing across its radio networks, and possibly on BBC television as well (I don't have access to a TV so I wouldn't know). Listening to Five Live for most of today, a jingle for some kind of house/dance show has been aired about four or five times, featuring the presenter insisting above all else that the show would not get on any commercial radio station because it plays things that simply are not commercial, are not that well known, and cannot be defined as popular music. Eclecticism is the order of the day, and the 'new music' buzz phrase is repeated at least twice in the space of thirty seconds.

Is this a case of clutching at straws? I have to confess that I have been consistently underwhelmed by Radio One. That may be down to my music taste, because Radio One is certainly not aimed at me - if anything I'm the kind of indie kid for whom Six Music exists, fitting snugly into their target demographic and enjoying almost all the music they play. Six Music was launched precisely to cater for the growing sector of the population which puts more faith in a broad range of ever so slightly underground, understated indie acts, ranging from Marjorie Fair to The Others, Kaiser Chiefs (yes, them again) to the Killers. Six Music were widely credited with unearthing Keane and dragging them kicking and screaming into the spotlight with a Steve Lamacq session in 2003, and the station has already established a strong rapport with the music community as a centre for breaking new acts. Perhaps Radio One should give up the ghost, accept that it is the hub of pre-teen pop culture and move on. With the death of Peel, Radio One should respect that teenage kicks today derive from precisely what everyone else plays on the station, and that obscure indie discoveries are now the domain of Xfm and Six Music.

Everything you ever needed to know about Llamas in a simple "question and answer" format is found here. The site has also been commended as a "notable llama site" by the "Llama Life II" magazine. I suggest visiting the "what kind of sounds do they make?" section of the Q&A page. Hilarious. Llamas can orgle, hum and snort apparently... go hear!

An interesting piece on Offa by Mike Baker, who is held in high regard by Dayorama. (Well, one of us at least.) Oxford should be worried. But most interesting is the line at the end: "So, whatever Offa does or does not achieve, the really big task lies not in how universities handle applications and admissions but in raising achievement in schools." Quite! And you know what I've heard? Investment in primary (and to an extent, nursery) education is even better! To be fair, although this has the potential to be a vote winner, it's hard to show immediate progress, since you're looking at 10 to 15 years for a pay off, so I doubt whether it will really happen.

Three things worth mentioning:

1) Death of Arafat. Big big news. So huge we didn't cover it on Dayorama. Thoughts of someone completely disinterested in the Middle East - I bet this changes things, but I don't know how.

2) Boris is sacked. Big news. Tory party loses major figurehead on slightly dodgy moral basis. Boris' career looks finished in the immediate future, to be honest. I should imagine he'll have to fight for reselection at Henley, I doubt he'll ever be on HIGNFY again, he should keep his Telegraph column but will have trouble staying at The Spectator. And has probably lost his wife and four kids. A pretty damn bad week. I have nagging doubts that he is politically substantial enough to survive perhaps a decade in the back benches before relaunching his career, but if all he does from now on is politics, then who knows?

3) New Attorney General in the US - Alberto Gonzales. Fair few murmurs going round that he's a lightweight, which I suppose will shall find out soon. But who next on the Cabinet merry-go-round?

Overall:

If I had a clue about how Arafat's death is going to impact the world, I'd rate it higher, but I guess it's just wait and see. Everything else seems to be going a bit quiet though.

I thought I’d attempt some form of rating for the week. I will however, contain my musings to “home news”, rather than global issues. Firstly, the week began with the aftermath of the train crash, where seven people died, and a debate has ensued into how safe the railways, in particular level crossings, are. Another transport incident occurred when a plane carrying the Princess Ann was involved in an “air near miss”; the two planes involved came within 3.3miles of each other. The lottery was 10 years old this weeks, and many stories have been published detailing either “the changing lives of lottery winners”, or “how lottery money has helped good causes”. Another tenth birthday belongs to Eurostar, although it is yet to make a profit. The TV personality Fred Dibnah died at the age of 66, and the funeral of John Peel was held yesterday. As more troops died in Iraq, on the 11th the country remembered those who died in WWI, WWII and subsequent conflicts. Apparently the Queen managed to stay awake during the service at the Cenotaph. In addition to the usual acts of remembrance, London was illuminated in red from Thursday through to Sunday. In political news, apparently smoking in public is going to be banned in Scotland, Blunkett has announced yet more policing plans, Johnson was sacked from the Tory front bench and the lawsuit against the Diana’s Memorial Fund by a US souvenir firm has been dropped after the two sides settled out of court. The prototype for the new MSN search engine was launched this week and the premier of the second Bridget Jones film, The Edge of Reason took place. Finally, the Janus Society (an appropriate post will appear in the future when more information can be gathered) announced that they will be opening a bookshop on the Turl, Oxford. And so for a rating. Based purely on home events, the rating is rather low. There’s been nothing of much significance, just small events making for quite an interesting and varied week.

Oh but he was the best person on the front bench and his book, 72 Virgins (or something), is on my Xmas list!

I was going to post about the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, and say what an amazing resource it is, and how impressive their online edition is - a real triumph of user friendliness. Instead, I'm going to moan about how I lost at Scrabble again to Amy, again on deductions, and despite a 72 point play. I am never ever never ever going to trust her whilst playing Scrabble again. No doubt Sun Tzu said something similar about enemies and love, but maybe I have to learn through experience.

Now we have the proper results. (see below: searching for llamas and schamas)

There's something really really frustrating about having a reading list full of website links. First, it makes a reading list look short, when in fact it isn’t. Second, all the links prove to be inaccurate and invariably it’s a case of going to the homepage of a website and fighting through rubbish until I find the greater rubbish that I was searching for in the first place. Third, the websites I am looking at involve EC Law (yes, it is EC not EU law for reasons that I can’t be bothered to explain. It’s all to do with pillars or something). These websites attempt to be conversational, multi-national and easy to use. Suffice to say they fail on all accounts. Fourthly, I dislike damaging my eyes by reading fifty page Conventions online and thus have to print lots of my reading list out – this involves a trek to the computer room (nightmare in itself) and it is also damaging the rainforest (rather ironic when I am reading about the EC’s approach to Environmental law). Fifthly, you waste loads of time finding the sites and haven't actually done any work/reading. Sixthly, I am in a disgruntled-ladybird mood and someone had to be at the brunt of my disgruntled-ness.

Microsoft have launched their new MSN search engine. It’s only a prototype, (beta trial stage) at the moment but it’s expected that the finished version will be ready by the end of 2004. I thought compare its current searching powers against google with “llama” and “simon+schama”. Maybe I’ll repeat the exercise when the full engine is launched. The results were as follows:

Google:
Llama: 4,320,000 in 0.26 seconds
Simon+Schama: 55,900 in 0.40 seconds

MSN:
Llama: 2,829,889 in 0.14 seconds
Simon+Schama: 23,321 in 0.26 seconds

It seems that google is currently getting more results, but in approximately double the time. However, what is 0.1 of a second anyway. On the other hand, would we really care about that 2,829, 890 result for llama that the MSN search didn’t pick up? The choice is yours. Overall though, I thought the search was very user friendly. I think I’ll stick to google though as the pictures they do at Halloween/feast days/in the festive season, always make me smile.

In the interest of the commercial potential of llamas, I believe this website should be visited. They offer some great links under the "Friends of Nosey" section.

I've just formally ended my involvement with GNet, the fantasy football league I established three and a half years ago. 'Distressed' does not even come close to summing up how I feel. As someone said to me when I almost did this last month, it is almost four years' work down the drain. I'm trying not to look at it like that - it was fantastic while it lasted and I met a lot of great people in the process. Even so, I nearly broke down more than once whilst writing a big forum post explaining why I was going to have to leave. It is going to feel like a really big chunk of my life is missing.

At least it outlasted the three week lifetime certain people gave it back in May 2001 (OJ) and who knows, it may even carry on in the right hands.

The first Dayoramics results are now online, for the week 31st October 2004 - 7th November 2004. The poll for 8th November 2004 - 14th November 2004 is now active in the same place as the old one used to reside, and will change late Wednesday/early Thursday of each week. Thanks to those who voted. Try to encourage other people to vote! Remember, some people aren't lucky enough to have the democratic right to rate the week; it is your duty to your nation and to those poor unfortunates to exercise your rating ability. Feel free, also, to leave comments both on the poll itself and on any Dayoramics post.

In other news, MovableType considers capital letters to come before lower case letters when alphabetising things. For example, Dayoramics appears below DayoSchamaLlama in the Categories list by virtue of a capital S trumping a lower case 'r'. TV, similarly, appears above 'Tech'. However, this only happens on our internal editing menu, and seems to be corrected for the Categories list in the lower right-hand corner of the website itself.

Firstly, allow me a little gloating. It isn't often that anyone else in the known universe sides with me in an argument. Joan Smith has done so in the very same newspaper as Stephen Pollard. She even used some of the same lines of argument as me. I'm so proud.

Secondly, I feel sorry for the students at Fringford College, Oxford. Being a little known and unusually small college, its inhabitants probably face a tougher time of things than most people. It doesn't have its own website, owns the least land out of any college in Oxford, gains the fewest firsts as a percentage of all degree results and has no distinguished alumni worth speaking of. This is probably because it does not exist. It has never existed, it probably never will exist unless someone called Fringford tosses a lot of cash in the university's general direction. Yet that won't stop you registering with the university's Careers Service as a member of it. Here's the registration form. Here's a Google search for Fringford College.

Remember my letter to the Oxford Bus Company? Well 10/10 for their customer service. I received a very pleasant letter today accompanied by a period return to London worth £11. Not bad eh?

I can't believe we've gone this long without a 'Tech' category. Anyway, our good friend the British Broadcasting Corporation reports that FireFox has now had its 1.0 release officially launched. You might remember that a month or so ago I switched to FireFox and had plenty of good things to say - however, I'll admit that I'm back on IE now because FireFox, whilst more than satisfactory, had certain key limitations. The first and most annoying of these was the inability to cope with various java-based applications, which I tried to resolve with the downloading of more software, patches etc but ultimately failed. That may just be me. FireFox also, for reasons that are beyond me, removed the text formatting menu from the Dayorama editing system, which certainly complicated life. There were other niggly issues as well, like CSS styles not appearing correctly, and occasional long delays loading windows.

In the end, the only real advance I could find in FireFox was the introduction of a system of tabs, so that you could launch new windows in little tabs that appeared below the menu bar but above the page you were viewing. These windows loaded in the background, and could then be accessed at your leisure by clicking the tab. This was a very useful feature and I miss it on IE, but sadly until FireFox irons out some other issues, or at least makes them easier for people like me to resolve quickly before we get annoyed, I'm going to be staying in the mainstream.

Shocking news in Minnesota, as a rogue llama was mistaken for a deer and injured (presumed dead).

Via the BBC (with precautions taken as advised), I see a consultation paper by the Tories on tax cuts. All sensible stuff, but they miss one thing that I think would hugely popular: moving the stamp duty thresholds on house purchases in line with the increase (and no doubt decrease, eventually) in house prices. An exemption for £60,000 and under doesn't really go very far anymore, given that house prices, despite the doom and gloom of the movement, are still going up at around 15% a year. In particular, the jump from 1% to 3% at £250,000 is particularly nasty, given that in London, that's the price of an average flat. Shifting the stamp duty threshold would, in my view, be a big winner, more than enough to offset the revenue loss.

Fascinating work on the election for the cartographically inclined can be found here, where the results take into account population levels. I don't think they used Cartographer for this.

Well, what he said really. With the developments from the train crash (worrying because that's the line we take home) now fleshed out, last week was, all in all, highly eventful. I'll admit to being the one who voted 10 on the online poll, but I've been persuaded by Mr. Williams' case. Still, with the battle for Fallujah ongoing, this week is looking high as well.

I came across a very interesting advert this morning in The Times, by The Christian Institute. It was against the Civil Partnership Bill, and is, I think, one of the first public denouncements of it. You can see a copy of the advert on their website.

The reason why this made me wake up and stare (it's hard to read the papers in our JCR in the morning; it's not unlike sitting in a landfill site) is because there is usually very little public advertising by lobby groups or organisations. True, the Countryside Alliance did quite a bit during the Hunting Bill saga, and obviously bigger charities that have a public affairs division, such as the NSPCC and the RSPCA, are common advertisers. But TCI appears to be a full blown lobbying outfit, which is rare in the UK. Seeing it, I thought immediately of the American papers, which are usually stuffed full of adverts by NGOs. I'll be interested to see if this catches on with other organisations.

(Two final thoughts: I knew The Times was losing advertising revenue having gone compact, but I didn't realise it was this much. And I wonder if the appearance of media aware lobby groups means more internships for media aware lobby interested students. Might I yet live my fantasy West Wing life?)

I promised a while ago that I would write a fairly in-depth critique of the BBC's online news output, and the potential threat it posed to objectivity. I will now be considerably aided in this project by Stephen Pollard, The Times' Thunderer columnist, who today ventured forth with a stinging attack on the corporation. His piece, 'Weep for BBC News', can be found here. I will, with the help of excerpts from his article, discuss the BBC's role in the reporting of news and whether he and I share the same perception of where the demons at the BBC lie.

Whilst browsing on BBC News Online earlier I was attracted by a story linked from the CBBC or Children’s BBC site. I never really taken much notice of this branch of the BBC website before now, but I must admit I was really impressed. The website has a very friendly and welcoming layout, for example, the menu strip has both pictures and text and overall it is very colourful. I was very impressed by the news section; stories are presented in a very readable format with simple language and simple explanations. I was most impressed by the run-down on the US Election. The site details the election in several easy-to-understand steps and picks topics which will appeal to children, for example the distinction between donkeys and elephants. I am not sure what the age range of the website is – maybe anything from 9 to 13? – but I am sure it is informative to those who read it. There are also opportunities to participate in quizzes, votes and the “press pack” club for budding young journalists. I can’t help but think that the site is aiming at intelligent middle-class children with a decent attention span, but nevertheless I expect it is a valuable resource for those who do read it. Obviously some news stories may be rather scary for children for example, Iraq, or the recent train crash and thus there is a section which discusses the fact that it’s “ok to be upset about the news”. The site also promotes the teaching of current affairs in schools, with lesson plans for teachers (! not sure what my Mother would make of this). In my opinion any way to encourage children to become interested in current affairs and politics can only be a good thing and thus the website should be congratulated.

*Edit: Apologies, I didn't mean to put "very impressed" and "most impressed" in consecutive sentences - I wasn't that impressed!

Lots of you crazy kids keep coming here looking for lyrics to the Kaiser Chiefs' kick-ass "Oh My God" track, ever since I mentioned them a while back. I feel bad for not providing the lyrics, so here goes (these are unofficial and my transcript of the lyrics just by listening to the track, I've tried my best to get them spot on):

-----
Time on your side that will never end
The most beautiful thing you can ever spend
But you work in a shirt with your nametag on it
Drifting apart like a plate tectonic

It don't matter to me
It's all I wanted to be
It's a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Too much time spent dragging the past up
I didn't see you not looking when I messed up
Settling down in your early twenties
Sucked more blood than a backstreet dentist

It don't matter to me
It's all I wanted to be
It's a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Oh my God I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And Oh my God I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home

[repeat x1]

Bright ruins lit for greater glory [*really not sure about this line*]
The only thing growing is our history
Knock me down I'll get right back up again
Come back stronger like a powered-up Pacman

It don't matter to me
It's all I wanted to be
It's a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Oh my God I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And Oh my God I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home

[repeat x1, then guitar solo, then repeat x2]

-----
There ya go. Anyone with any corrections, let me know.

Time for my first Dayoramics round-up. First off, remember that as Chief of Dayoramics, my opinion is as usual more important than anything the other two might try to tell you, so each week this is the post to be reading in order to influence your later voting. And on that note, may I remind you to vote in the top right hand corner of the Dayoramics page. You need to rate the week (Monday to Sunday) on a scale of 1 (boring) to 10 (earth-shattering), and you've got til Wednesday night to do it. Marks, set, go.

Right then. Well, it's been a hell of a big week to kick off Dayoramics. Had Dayoramics been in existence in September 2001, the week 10th Sept - 16th Sept would have qualified for a 10, so we can safely rule out almost any other week ever for a 10 rating. Though the events of this week were very important, they do not qualify as having, according to our strict definition of a 10 rating, 'changed the world forever'.

So we're probably looking at a 9, which is 'major global impact'. The US election certainly qualifies here, since a second four-year term for President Bush will to a large extent dictate the pace and direction of global politics for the time being. The fortunes of Iraq, Iran, North Korea, even potentially Israel, Palestine and beyond, all lie in that man's capable hands (the hands are probably far more capable than the brain). The effect on US domestic policy doesn't qualify for a 9 since it isn't particularly global, but still has a number of global ramifications and must be taken into consideration - changes within the US can be expected to impact upon events elsewhere.

At home, the Berkshire train crash fits somewhere between a 6 and a 7 (qualifying under 6, 'relatively large-scale disaster', and 7, 'extended coverage/newsflash territory'). The deployment of Black Watch troops into Camp Dogwood is a dodgy 7 ('majority of the public will possess some kind of opinion' but it's more a part of the greater Iraq news sphere than an individual event, so perhaps it should be happy with a 6). The declaring of a state of emergency in Iraq perhaps brings overall events in Iraq for the week to a high 7, i.e. escalated activity. Yasser Arafat's apparently imminent demise, seemingly so certain that the Israelis are waiting patiently with a JCB and a hole in the turf, may have far-reaching consequences for the Middle East, but then may not. One columnist observed that Arafat was effectively dead anyway given the permanent Israeli guard outside his house and Ariel Sharon's pursuit of a withdrawal from Gaza regardless of anyone else's opinion. We'll stick with a 7 for that too.

In summary then, it's very much a week of escalated activity; when the Arafat story is dropped into "Other News" you know that the media are spoilt for choice for headlines. Without the US election, we'd still be well into 7 territory, maybe even an 8 on the basis of the cumulative effect of all the 7s. With the election, we're definitely looking at a big, fat:

For the past few weeks I’ve been reading Lorna Doone, the novel written by R.D. Blackmore. I don’t have much spare time when I can read it, but I am over half way through its 552 pages. Set in Exmoor (yes, lots of references to Dunkery Beacon) at the time of Monmouth’s rebellion (1685) it is an immensely captivating book, described as a “romance of Exmoor; a historical novel of high adventure…and moving love story”. What are fascinating are the comparisons that can be made between the novel and society today. We may not be faced with highway men and sheep stuck in snow drifts but emotions, expressions of love, fear and opinions of different classes of society are expressed in a very similar fashion as they would be today. I have selected two passages which I can easily identify with:

“For according to our old saying, the three learned professions live by roguery on the three parts of a man. The doctor mauls our bodies; the parson starves our souls; but the lawyer must be the adroitest knave, for his has to ensnare our minds. Therefore he takes a careful delight in covering his traps and engines with a spread of dead-leaf words, whereof himself knows little more than half the way to spell them”

And:

“Some creatures require a deal of food… and some can do with a very little; making, no doubt the best of it. And I have often noticed, that the plumpest and most perfect women never eat so hard, and fast, as the skinny and three-cornered ones. These last be often ashamed of it, and eat most when the men be absent”

Nothing much changes.

a) I have still not heard from Mr Oxford Bus Company
b) Another bus crashed on the High last night. A parked car pulled away into the road in front of the bus. The bus hit the car’s rear nearside door and the car promptly drove in front of the bus, stuck two fingers up at the bus driver and sped off down the high leaving smashed glass and a bemused bus driver rapidly dictating the registration number of the car down his dictaphone thingy.

Here's a growing crisis which has received little media attention compared with events elsewhere in the globe: France is facing a surge in violence in the Ivory Coast (which I was told was now the Cote d'Ivoire even in English but the BBC says Ivory Coast so Ivory Coast it is).

Trawling through the "Ivory Coast In Crisis" archive to the right of the BBC's coverage, it becomes apparent that this is no overnight phenomenon and has roots in a much more general African malaise, fuelled by economic crisis and the kind of dangerous racial stereotyping that the British more commonly experience in Zimbabwe. The French reaction to the descent of hostilities into widespread violence will be significant - given their outspoken criticism of the US in Iraq, they will presumably be at pains to curb any excessive reaction from their troops, who report to the UN in any case. However, the UN backed the French decision to destroy a number of Ivory Coast government aircraft in the wake of an attack on French peacekeepers, a move which has only fanned the flames of hatred according to the latest reports of violence.

It might also be worth watching the US reaction. So far, US ambassador to the UN John Danforth has been cautiously supportive, acknowledging that France will defend its troops and citizens if attacked. French problems in the Ivory Coast may present George W. Bush with the opportunity to christen his second term with the extension of US support and backing - on the understanding that it is reciprocated in Iraq.

I'm experiencing one of the more trivial goalkeeping injuries (see below). One of my greatest heroes had to deal with being shot at in an entirely different manner for years. The Times has an in-depth interview with Bert Trautmann, Manchester City goalkeeper throughout the 1950s having been a POW, here.

Bert was deservedly honoured by the Queen recently and will always be my role model for triumph in the face of adversity: this is a man who fought in Russia and against the D-Day landings, and who broke his neck in an FA Cup Final but played on.

Continuing my tour of unlikely injuries which started with a fish bone in the throat a couple of weeks back, I sensationally managed to damage the hearing in my left ear on Thursday playing football - the moment the ball struck the ear, it ceased to operate normally. The bass, in particular, went awry, so that each time the ball bounced it sounded like a cartoon sound effect.

Two days later and I'm in far more pain than I ever was initially, and I'm blaming the ear drops I was prescribed. At around 4pm I put a few in as instructed (I'd done this twice before to no adverse effect) and within minutes was in intense pain. I worry that somehow I've managed to rupture the eardrum a little, but can hardly find out on my own so I'll have to see how I go. At any rate, it's now 2am almost, and I'd been asleep for a few hours but having woken up can't get back again, so I thought I'd pay a quick visit to Dayorama.

Though I'll spare you the details of precisely how much wax was all over the place when I woke up (the drops are wax softeners; suffice to say there was more wax than on the birthday cake of an octogenarian), I'm more concerned by my mindset the instant I awoke. I spent ten minutes in the dead of night with a number of things running through my head, none of them normal. They were as follows:

i) A vision of my head as a map of the US election, with the left (problem) ear representing Nevada or California and John Kerry being involved. As I recall it was still grey (i.e. it hadn't been called by BBC News Online's election map), and the suggestion in my mind was that if it went blue, it was alright. Suffice to say it didn't go blue.

ii) A vision of my head as a computer keyboard, which is the only possible explanation I have for the fact that I couldn't get the letter 'Q' out of my mind for a good 20 minutes after I woke up. Aside from the moments when Kerry and the US were being used as a bizarre metaphor, all I could think of was 'Q'. I assume that because Q is the far left key on the keyboard, it was being subconsciously associated with the far left of my head. It's either that or a growing obsession with high-scoring Scrabble letters, which is always possible.

In any case it took a while before I realised that some very strange things were going on. And now, having regaled you with this pleasant tale, I'm off to update some more websites while the insomnia lasts - which reminds me, I keep getting requests for me to design websites for people on the back of some work I've done for others in the past couple of months. Alas, I have absolutely no time to do any of the work. We'll see how much they're paying and then I'll negotiate with God for an eighth day of the week.

More QI goodness. There is an article in the Arts and Books section of today's Telegraph that is written by Claudia Fitzherbert, who is apparently the stockmistress at QI. Thus it is her who is responsible for the vast stocks of, erm, quite interesting books. The article isn't online yet, but some choice quotes:

"I love [QI] for its smallness, its queer shape and its rich stock, but most of all I love it for its general air of cock-a-snookery. No rubbish, no multiples, no three for twos or two for 10s or any of the other discount tricks of the bookselling trade. "Never knowingly oversol" is a notice that does not appear in the window, but might."

Indeed. The column is intended to be a weekly one - I look forward to the next installment.

In case anyone is wondering, the numbers (and now small bar chart) that have sprung up next to our names in the contact list refer to our ongoing attempts at Scrabble.

I narrowly won the first encounter as I think OJ has related elsewhere; tonight, he got his revenge with a convincing victory in a high-scoring encounter, closing out the game with 33-point behemoth 'zone' (with the Z on a triple letter score). This match-up also illustrated the ease with which I succumb to pressure, turning as I did into a slightly incoherent, abusive pile of verbal compost in the face of endless rounds of seven consonants and no vowels. When Amy placed 'quin' down without entirely satisfying our house rule that you can't place a word unless you can define one meaning of it - which reduces the number of hopeful punts on outside chances, such as 'hau' (a form of Hawaiian shrub) - I almost declared World War Three. I also converted to Hinduism midway through the game on the basis that God was clearly not interested in my plight. I am placing my faith in the logical assertion that gods with more limbs will be able to shuffle the tile bag more sensibly.

To conclude, we will be keeping a running total of our cumulative scores in the Contact column, and may even keep the natty little bar chart thing I've put there. And I promise not to mention chess unless I start to lose by an unassailable margin.

Yoko Ono has topped the US dance chart at the age of 71 with a song supporting gay marriage. The track is entitled “Every Man has a Man who Loves Him” (new version of “Every Man has a Woman who Loves Him”). There are several factors that contribute to this event being mildly significant. Firstly, apparently Yoko Ono said “this is not just a victory for me but for all Americans who are against the administration’s decision to ban gay marriage”. Good point. It is an open statement that many people in America support gay marriage and are willing to buy a single to express this fact. Secondly, it could be seen as one of the fist informal “attacks” on Bush’s policy ideals; he said that he wants to change the US constitution to ensure that marriage could only take place between a man and a woman. Thirdly, it shows that you don’t have to be young and part of a boy-band (Yoko is 71) to top the US Charts. So maybe this could contribute to a mildly memorable week…

In terms of a memorable week for Oxford, there was an international market in the City today selling fresh continental produce (including mushrooms), bread, patisseries, meat etc. All rather delicious. My esteemed tutor (micro/macro) even emailed all Lincoln Lawyers to suggest that we “go along and enjoy the stuff” along with staying “safe with the fireworks”. I don’t recollect there ever being such a market before so maybe this week will have witnessed the first of many?

You have to hand it to the BBC, they don't know when they're beaten. Despite our unrivalled election coverage, the launch of DayoSchamaLlama and the brand new Dayoramics mini-site, the Beeb's techies have trawled out a new addition to the armoury, the audio slideshow. And a damn fine piece of kit it is, too (maybe it's been used before but it's the first time I've seen it).

Well, never fear, because I'm still not busy and/or motivated enough to begin work any time soon, and I still have a Dayorama trick or two up my sleeve - starting with a new and quite different regular feature lined up to kick off tomorrow afternoon.

As Christmas gets nearer, all the main shops and organisations produce their “Christmas Gift Catalogues”. They are always good fun to read although of course it is necessary to have one copy for each member of the family is required to save squabbles. When I left the library today I collected the “Bodleian Library Gift Catalogue”. I didn’t know one existed and consequently it provided me with great amusement walking back from the Bod. I shall not go through every item, as the catalogue can be found online here, but will list a few of my favourites – a mouse mat with 12 colourful images (tear-off) representing learning through the ages from the Bodleian’s collection; a “Silence Please” range of cups, saucers, shot glasses and eggcups; a magi-book cube; an Oxford Aerial View Divider Set; Rad Cam book ends; and of course, the Bodleian Umbrella and teddy-bear.

Welcome to Dayoramics. After an hour or two of playing with various templates behind the scenes here at Dayorama, this post will hopefully be simulcast on both Dayorama and the brand new Dayoramics site, which for now resides here, but might get its own domain name soon.

Dayoramics is intended to return Dayorama to its initial purpose - the rating of days on a scale according to how they will be remembered in history. Initially, we gave each day a rating somewhere between 0 (so uneventful that frankly it wasn't worth getting up) and 12 (will be forever remembered in history). It was a format that got us recognition from the Guardian.

Dayoramics launches with a purpose similar to that, except where once we struggled with the labour-intensive mission of rating each day, now the plan becomes to rate the entire week (where weeks run from Monday to Sunday, and don't let anyone tell you any different). Posts on Dayorama which refer to our rating of the week, and how certain news events may change it, will be filed under "Dayoramics" and will simultaneously appear on the Dayoramics homepage (God knows what will happen to archiving those posts on the Dayoramics site, I've not got to that yet). So at the end of each week, we, or at least I, will provide an opinion and a rating for how that week will go down in history. The scale this time is 1 (uneventful) to 10 (will shape history).

Not only that, but Dayoramics is interactive. From Thursday of week A until Wednesday of week B, we'll run a poll in the top right-hand corner of Dayoramics allowing our visitors to rate the week themselves. The offset time scale (week runs Monday-Sunday, poll runs Thursday-Wednesday) allows visitors to rate the week up to three days after it concludes, and prevents visitors from rating a week when we've only had one or two days of it. I will ensure that an archive of results is kept updated.

In summary, do come on over to Dayoramics and cast your expert eye over each week - you will of course be able to leave comments on each of our Dayoramics posts.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

It has come to our attention that over the past weeks, and in particular the past few days, some of our readers may have been led to believe that we are a serious weblog, dealing with topical issues, politics, cultural debate and aspects of our own lives which may have wider moral or social implications. The impression may have been given that humour is occasionally deployed as a secondary tool, particularly during the relaying of anecdotes.

We, the Dayorama staff, are outraged by, and hotly refute, these suggestions. At no stage have we shown, or sought to show, any competence, insight, initiative, wit, sobriety, sincerity or indeed any capability at all. We treat this as a matter of the utmost importance, since we have a comprehensive, strict and unbending set of standards to miss. Our 'content' should be at all times inept, obscure, bluff, diatribe, baloney, codswallop or at worst irrelevant. If you have happened across an article of interest in the past weeks, we can only apologise.

We have issued a separate, official denial that we ever do anything worthwhile, and have no further comment at this time.

Throughout last night, there was no doubt that the vast majority of the crowd in my college dining hall were in favour of Kerry. This is hardly surprising, and I recall reading somewhere that Kerry could lay claim to something like 75 per cent of the world vote, if we were all allowed a vote. But I can't help feeling that a second Bush term isn't really the crisis some people are making it out to be, and that it might even be a substantial improvement on the return we'd have got out of a Kerry presidency.

Had Kerry won, it would have been very tight. That much was obvious from the moment the first results came through, and if he had taken Ohio, he would have had the electoral college vote but severely lacked the popular vote. His mandate would have been slim if not non-existent, and his policies, while to an extent more coherent than you'd imagine listening to the Bush camp, would obviously have required change in a period when domestic upheavals are the last thing America needs.

So a Kerry presidency would have presented problems (and I know I'll barely touch the surface of any issues here but I'm trying to be brief). A Bush presidency, by contrast, presents a known quantity, a pre-established set of international allegiances which Bush can now work on without having to keep a second term in the back of his mind, and a settled White House team (again, not necessarily, but I'm not qualified to start digging any deeper). In fact, in extremely simple terms, I'm not convinced that there exists the animosity to Bush that many would claim. Returning to the talk by Ann Wroe on Tuesday night, she admitted that as a Democrat, her problem was not with Bush, but with the people around him. I agree - George W. Bush himself is not a threat. He has plenty of political experience and is a more shrewd political player than his many detractors will acknowledge; he has four years in the job under his belt and an army of advisors; he is not a dictator, merely the public front of a vast governmental machine.

One questions whether an America under Kerry would have been a different machine, or just a different front. I do not believe a Bush victory to be the unmitigated disaster that Moby, for example, by claiming he will "spend the next four years drunk", intimates. Instead, I expect Bush to use his increased mandate and the security of a second term to much better effect than the first time out, and I expect the 2008 election to be very healthy indeed.

I think that deep down, a lot of people who would have ostensibly voted Kerry would also agree with these sentiments. Being seen to openly back Bush was to ally oneself with an individual widely portrayed as bungling, inept and malevolent, to endorse war in Iraq and to support the interests of big business. Few Britons in this liberal climate (reflected best in the kind of opinion you'll get from the spheres of indie music, film and the new media) are prepared to tie themselves remotely to those key themes. However, supporting Bush should not have been purely a question of the sleazy corporate whore against the free-thinking individual. Bush stands for the economy, yes (observe the Dow Jones gains on the back of his victory), but he also stands for security, simplicity (in its best sense, not just its worst), determination and faith. Those are conservative values. Conservative values are not inherently bad, they are just depicted as such by a political climate which now relies as much on 'cool' as its successor, the cult of celebrity.

There is plenty in George W. Bush to admire and encourage. There is plenty to abhor. It would have been little different with Kerry. A Bush victory is probably far less catastrophic than any liberal will be ready to admit.

It seems as though that we are not the only ones who are amused with the 'presenting skills' of Mr. Quest. The blogosphere has room for everything. Money quote: "Richard Quest...looks like a cross between Roger Daltry and a Muppet. You have to see him to believe him." Quite.

CNN reports that Kerry has finally conceded. Ah well.

I too have woken up and showered. Life seems more managable now. Still nothing official, but clearly Bush has won. I thus feel very smug about my initial predictions. I am definitely feeling the effect of too many Doritos last night, as there is a lime taste in mouth that isn't going away. Oh well. Combined with the beer, Amy wasn't too impressed. Time, I think, to make some more predictions:

- the rumours about the new cabinet will be interesting. Will Powell stay? Rumsfeld? Rice? It will all have a very noticable effect on policy in the immediate months.
- what does Blair think of it all? No doubt he'll be the first to congratulate Bush and cheer up Kerry.
- what next for Kerry? Must be pretty miserable being the senator that was just not good enough.
- Edwards in '08? Fascinating piece in Slate about the need for simplicity. I agree that if Hilary Clinton gets anywhere near the summit of Democratic party politics, it's going to be another four more years.
- Daschle lost his seat, the first time it's happened in ages. Who next as the minority leader (Obama?! :P)
- how long is it going to take for me to recover from this night? I am really feeling my age...

As I wearily predicted at gone 5am (and yes, I've only just resurfaced), it has all come down to Ohio. The Democrats are saying they'll wait until every provisional ballot has been counted, which will mean days before they concede the election, unless they accept what very much looks like the inevitable.

Which begs the question: did the Guardian lose John Kerry the 2004 Presidential Election? "You might help decide who takes up residence in the White House next month", the paper told its readers last month. Indeed, they probably did - so many residents of Clark County, Ohio, to whom Guardian readers addressed letters overwhelmingly in favour of John Kerry, told their overkeen foreign correspondents to naff off. They did so with some quite bizarre references to dentistry, but we were still told precisely where to get off. I wonder how many people in Clark County, and in Ohio at large, in the knowledge that the Brits were trying to swing the election, ended up undecided in the voting booth and plumping for Bush. Was it the Guardian what won it?

I'm calling it a day, under the basis that it looks as though the election will turn on Ohio, and I don't think they will declare it until everyone is one hundred per cent certain of the result. That will take us well into the morning.

I'd like to thank the people who kept me company all night, particularly OJ but also a motley crew who brought food and opinions, spilt both over each other and then helped with the mopping up afterwards. If you've been following us through the night, thanks for reading. If you're looking at this at a later date, then scroll down/look at the previous posts, because I suspect I'm not at my best with this one.

Right. I'm off. I really need the loo.

It's 5am, and there are now fifteen people left in the room (one of which is tidying up after running the bar all night). A Kerry campaign spokesman is currently talking on CNN: "we're confident that at the end of this, when the votes are counted, John Kerry will be elected President." I'm less sure. Kerry is creeping back a little in Ohio but not enough to really do anything about it, to my mind. Florida has been called by ABC and the BBC, but CNN still obstinately refuse, presumably mindful of what happened in 2000 (though Florida has clearly gone to Bush this time). Kerry still looks like he'll sneak New Hampshire, but that won't be enough on its own - Michigan hasn't been mentioned much, yet it could be very important. It carries 17 electoral college votes, which could be crucial, and the NY Times has Kerry ahead with 31% of precincts reporting. That would still leave Kerry standing still though. He needs to win Ohio, and I really don't think he will.

The stench of stale beer is becoming overwhelming. I may not be here come 6am... we shall see. We shall see.

I'm still here, even if I am all alone now, and I'm flogging Doritos to the remaining hardcore Americans and drunkards. Pennsylvania has been declared by the AP for Kerry, but other states like Ohio and Florida are becoming almost certain Bush states, which is likely to put the mockers on Kerry's chances. There was some talk on the BBC earlier of a 269-269 situation, but I can't see that happening - the only potential minefield I can see ahead is the situation in New Mexico, where the result may not be known until tomorrow night because of absentee ballots. New Hampshire is very close, and now CNN is talking to Ralph Nader, to cries of "**** off" from the majority of those remaining in the room. I'll be back at 5am with more.

So it's coming up to 4 am and the networks are calling that Wooding is off to bed. Taking a look at what's happening right now, it seems more and more likely that Bush is going to be re-elected. He's going to get Florida, probably going to take Ohio, is up there in New Hampshire, Michigan and Wisconsin. Kerry is slightly up in Iowa, a bit of a surprise, and should take Pennsylvania. Looks like Ohio is the key - and a Bush re-election with it.

It's been fun blogging all night, but I've got to head off. No doubt when I wake up this afternoon, nothing will be decided, noone will have conceded and the lawyers will be working overtime. Hope you've enjoyed the coverage.

[This post clearly written by OJ. I mean, it should be obvious by now.]

One of the better puns I've heard so far tonight. Peter Snow is back and pondering over Ohio, whilst recently Missouri, Arkansas and in general many places seem to be leaning towards Bush. Florida is highly likely to go to Bush, and now Peter is, for some reason, talking of 218-196 in favour of Bush. I have no idea where those figures came from.

Lots of people are now lying down in here, and I've kind of lost the desire to take photos, particularly of OJ lying back in front of the big screen. In fact, it's cold enough in here that I've put my fleece back on, and we've all given up on the Doritos. I reckon there's just over fifty people left in here, which is quite good going, and I'm not as tired as I thought I might be by now. I'm certainly not as bad as others, including OJ, who is staring up at the ceiling as I type.

Bush, apparently, leads in Ohio. I'm trying to follow the BBC's online election map, but after a while it tends to flash everywhere to the extent that you don't know where to click, and its information is a little misleading. It is hard to tell, for instance, how close a state is to being called in favour of a candidate - most of the time the map simply shows projected victories. Kansas has just gone red online, suggesting a Bush triumph, which is no shock. I'll return at 4am.

There's now a distinct number of people who have left the hall, clearly unable to take the pace. The most exciting thing that has happened is that we switched from the BBC to CNN and back to the BBC again. CNN was much better with the US presenters - Wolf Blitzer and Larry King, with numerous big guest stars. Fact of the night so far: every state has so far conformed to the 2000 vote. I will admit that I'm stuggling. Oh, a live feed of Bush in the White House. Colin can't stand the man's smirk.

In other news:

- it currently stands 172 to Bush, 112 to Kerry. Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida are yet to report, though early polls suggest that Bush is doing much better in Florida than had been expected.
- Barack Obama won handily in the Illinois Senate Race. By about 80%. Third black man in the Senate.
- law suits appear to be happening in Ohio and possibly Missouri. Interesting.
- Ollie has caught up with me in the sweepstakes. Of course, the real result won't be known for quite some time as final figures come in.
- David Frum has been replaced by someone with a natty moustache.
- DayoSchamaLlama watch (in the style of the Washington Post): No sign of Schama, Llama.
- I don't want to see any more Doritos, dip or beer for a while.

Colin has just provided us with this week's Weekly World News. Headline: "Alien caught in hottub - with Laura Bush and Teresa Heinz Kerry!" Oh yeah.

The BBC has got into some domestic debate over tax cuts and income inequality. Booooring. Show us Peter Snow and the swingometer!

I am flagging more than a class of semaphore students. (OK, not that much then.) But still, it's not looking exciting yet. Seems like Ohio-Pennsylvania-Florida is still the key. To recap: Ohio seems to be going to Kerry, but is subject to law suits about voters who have been unable to vote due to queues; Pennsylvania is looking like Kerry, but the rural vote hasn't been taken into account; Bush is looking good in Florida. If Kerry takes OH and PA, then he's a good bet for overall victory. I'm looking to stay up until at least one of these states gets called, so will probably leave around 4am. We'll see.

Latest -Loyd Grossman commenting on the BBC. Ollie: "I take it back! CNN!"

[This post by OJ]

Hello once again. Some random woman is being rude about the British on the BBC, suggesting that we are "roast beef and always stick with America". We created your nation. You bow before us. And our election system is a) fairer and b) at a nicer hour.

Moving on... and a number of battleground states remain uncalled but probably will get called the moment I press "Publish". Tommy, of Dayolection interview fame, can't believe that neither Mississippi nor Missouri have been called. Colin is complaining about a lack of sleep but, as our token American, has been dwelling on the thought that European political leaders, particularly the Germans, probably secretly want Bush to win since it's a lot easier to blast Bush than Kerry.

OJ: "It's interesting about New Hampshire."
Ollie: "Why?"
OJ: "Because it was called for Kerry, now it's been retracted."
No one else saw it get called. OJ is the night's first victim.

There are drunk women still in the vicinity, although Japanese shakey-hand girl has hoved off into the distance, taking MediaMegastar and an unhealthy attraction to my Vodafone card with her. DayoSchamaLlama, our Dayorama spin-off, would have been doing a roaring trade tonight had I bothered to create it yet, since for some entirely unknown reason Simon Schama's opinion is considered valid by the BBC. OJ wonders what Radio 2 think about all of this. I don't know, but I'd imagine that all states with an R in their name would sound a little funny.

We think Maine has just been split, since Bush has gone up by one and Kerry subsequently down by one, but we're waiting on confirmation.

And yes, I'm still hanging on in there. The popular vote seems to be heading in the general direction of Bush, and we're about to have a wave of states announce... Colorado has voted to kill off its amendment, so all nine electoral college votes will go to one or the other (Colin says Bush). New York and Rhode Island to Kerry, others to Bush, no real surprises still...

Diane Kerry and her perhaps slightly more illustrious brother appear to be one and the same. I remember remarking about this a long time ago (in fact I might have even done it on Dayorama somewhere), but the similarity only grows stronger day by day. I suggest that this is how Kerry gets to be in so many states in one day. The question is, if Kerry's sister stands in for him, whose job is it to stand in for Bush? Marcelle's?

This may be our only round of interviews... both of us find this too embarrassing, going round the hall asking random people random questions. Luckily OJ was just drunk enough to try this once (and one of his interviewees was from Lincoln, the coward):

Tommy Cave

From: Northampton
Voting For: Kerry (but British so not really)
What Do You Think Of Exeter?: A nice setup, better than Lincoln, particularly since there's more seats. "Exeter has only really one quad." (Well said Tommy -OJ).
Interesting Thing That Happened Today: Mitre fire alarm (see below, Amy's post).

Lizzie Maughan

From: Australia (but born in Illinois)
Voting For: Kerry (could actually vote, but hasn't... possibly)
What Do You Think Of Exeter?: Too far away, can't actually hear anything (get here earlier, dumbass -Ollie). Girlfriend of a fellow (OJ says I might want to take that into consideration).
Interesting Thing That Happened Today: Didn't want to wake up (we said interesting!).

That's all for now. We'll be back with our 2am update soon.

Captain's Log, Supplemental: States are coming in thick and fast, and New Jersey has just been called for Kerry. This is heartening. There's a light-hearted atmosphere in here as state after state flashes up blue on the BBC - there's no mistaking the candidate we'd all send into the White House. Here comes Peter Snow, making the point that Illinois is the biggest state to go for Kerry so far, but there's also the point that so far there's been no real change from 2000. I'm still not sure what to think. But the fact that there's been no real failure on the art of Kerry so far is the best we can hope for.

Colin, our token American, raises the issue that if Kerry does happen to win, what would a certain Mrs Clinton do? She might end up having to wait until 2012, maybe 2016 to run for the presidency. Can she hold some form of public office, or even sufficient media attention, that long?

States called so far: Kentucky, Indiana, Georgia, West Virginia for Bush; Vermont for Kerry. Bet Kerry's feeling pleased right now. Seriously, everything seems to be going to plan so far. Gaining WV early is probably a bonus for Bush, but on the other hand plain Virginia is too close to call and should probably be Bush. Ohio is too close to call - no surprise there.

Just been informed:
- that according to my informants (a slightly drunk friend), Zogby is calling the Electoral Vote for Kerry with 314, but the popular vote for Bush?!
- the BBC tried to show a flashback to four years ago, and confused the hall briefly by calling Florida for Al Gore. Very odd.
- Pennsylvania and some other key states are coming up soon.
- it's still busy as hell in here. No flagging as yet.
- Peter Snow looks a tad overwhelmed with all the CGI this year. He did well with Battlefield Britain, but he's showing his age.
- there's a Japanese lady who is annoying Ollie by being awed by the Vodafone GPRS card; she now wants to send an email to David Dimbleby with an email address beginning "MediaMegastar" at a hotmail account.
- the BBC has David Frum on as a talking head. They've done well there.
- the Doritos are getting boring, and I've nearly finished all the beer.
- Colin is saying something about Gummy Bear eugenics. Eh?
- the ladies opposite me are trying to peel carrots with a plastic knife again.
- I'm winning the sweepstakes at the moment. 4 years of immersion in American political commentary has paid off.

Not much else to say. Hopefully we might have some interviews for the next posting, but I wouldn't bet on it. I'm currently planning on sleeping until 2 pm. Excellent.

[This post brought to you by a gently drunk OJ]

***Developing***
Zogby source confirmed by looking at their website. Kerry at 311. Holy shit.

Ollie here - it's just after midnight and states are starting to get called. Kentucky, for example, has just gone to Bush, but no real surprises as yet (nor any figures to talk about). We do, however, have more live images of our Dayorama election special. Here, you can see just how packed the hall remains even as we drift into the witching hour (and we'll try to reach Aaron for comment):

In other news:
- We've switched to the BBC, so no more quest to rid ourselves of Richard. Now, we have Peter Snow looking a little cold stood outside a virtual White House and even being dwarfed by a virtual helicopter. No Andrew Marr as yet.
- I have recovered a little after a jaffa cake assaulted me.
- OJ would like it to be known that in what is presumably an effort at both American allegiance and a bi-partisan approach, he is wearing a very fetching number which shows the White House alone. OJ wants America to win this election.
- Colin, our token American, has had the following to say: "To be perfectly honest, being cynical, I think Bush probably will win." So there you have it.
- Finally, our sweepstake is up and running. The three of us (me, OJ, Colin) have seventeen states each. We've had to call the winner, and the percentage they will win with, in each state. 20 points for the right winner, 20 points for the correct percentage, then a sliding scale of points depending how close to the percentage you were. We'll keep you updated.

The random CNN guy is Richard Quest. We are not impressed at all. For the love of God man, stop moving those arms, stop shouting and stop the raising the voice whilst stepping into camera to show action thing you have going on. It makes you look like a bad Andrew Marr imposter. Ollie or I could do a better job than you. Bring on the BBC! CNN is dull - I've seen enough hotel and airline adverts for one night.

In other new, Ollie has just cut the roof of his mouth on a jaffa cake. His teeth are stained blood red. Surely the Number 13 is only a few hours away...

[This post actually by OJ]

This is your 11pm Dayorama Election Special bulletin, Ollie Williams reporting. In the last hour:

Mexicans Invade
From the tell-tale evidence on this bona fide US ballot, we can only conclude that that an inevitable Central American incursion into the southern US has already begun. Alternatively, I may conceivably have spilt salsa on my friend's postal ballot.

Anchorman Hurt In Line Of Duty
Fellow Dayorama anchor OJ Wooding is persevering with his election night duties, despite suffering a severe hand injury. Sustained, I might add, trying to open a bottle of Budweiser with various implements, including a pen, his teeth, another bottle of Bud and my keys. I am drinking Grolsch, the only Vegan beer on the market.

Elsewhere:
- Eyebrows a-go-go on CNN, whose coverage is being marred by an entirely incapable roving election reporter, and as OJ just said, an Eyebrow of Mass Destruction.
- John Kerry: "It's been a magical day." [CNN graphic]
- Dorothy: "I want to go back to Kansas." [Wooding pun]

We thought we'd set the scene a little (you'll excuse many, many pretentious photo-based posts in the next few hours):

Welcome, welcome, to an entire night's live blogging. We are now set up and raring to go inside the Exeter College dining hall, a huge building which is the perfect location from which to be watching an election. It'll be a long night but as OJ said, we aim to become the kings - at least in Oxford, which still means fierce competition - of live election blogging. OJ's gone back to fetch some software which should mean that later in the night, we can bring you photos of our night in progress, which we're sure will mean plenty to all of you around the world. Especially whichever one of you searched for "young blonde girl sodomised" and reached this site earlier today.

So, my predictions. I agree that whilst I think anyone except roughly 50 per cent of America would love a Kerry win, the undecideds are more than likely to err in favour of Bush. I've just been to a talk by Ann Wroe of the Economist, who pointed out that this election very much depends on "security moms", and I cannot see those security moms getting into voting booths with no decision made, then opting for Kerry. At this stage, I am prepared to stick my neck out and predict a narrow but visible, perhaps even uncontested (we can only hope) Bush victory.

I'm looking forward to this, and we will be updating regularly throughout the night. For now, I'm off to set up an election sweepstake, and then we'll... I dunno... play chess for a few hours. I've never had this much fun.

And so it begins. Four years of frustration and anger for some, or of just the beginning for others. It's Election night. The problem is, in the UK, we actually mean the morning. As in, we won't have a rough idea of what's happening until 5 am on Wednesday. Good job I have nothing planned for tomorrow. The last time I did something like this was almost a year ago, when I was in Princeton and watching the World Cup Final, which was shown at 4 am. No doubt this will be as tense.

What are we doing? Well, since every man and his blog has been live blogging previous election events - particularly the party conferences - now that we finally have a chance to do so, we couldn't say no. So Ollie and I will be in Exeter JCR all night long watching the coverage (BBC, I hope), and blogging as we go along. I'm going to bring my camera and hopefully we'll have some photos up. And we'll see how it goes (biggest fear currently - that Ollie's laptop has a crap battery and there are no plugs to charge it in the JCR.

We thought it would be worthwhile starting with some basic predictions, or at least setting out what we think is going to happen. Maybe we might have something more advanced involving betting later on. Anyway, I'm hoping for a Kerry win, but can't get away from the nagging fact that a lot of undecideds will break for Bush. I'm a natural conservative, but Bush, it seems, is not, and given my extreme distaste for his moral views, it's enough to push me firmly into the blue camp. All the polling data is suggesting that Kerry is in a stronger position than Gore was four years ago, and I want to believe it, but I still think this is going to go to Bush. The devil you know and all that... It seems that Florida, Ohio and Wisconsin are the key states, so we'll wait and see. I am also expecting there to be a clear winner, and none of the shenanigans involving lawyers and a missing Chief Justice. No reason to expect it, but just a gut feeling. Whatever happens, it should be a really fun night.

I never got round to commenting last week on the fact that a relief road was named as one of Britain's best public buildings. However, things have got worse... there is now a Roundabout Appreciation Society.

Every morning this term I have got up early. My only moderate lie-ins have been on a Sunday. Yesterday I was up about 5am. I drove around 250 miles of motorway. I had a highly emotionally and draining day involving a funeral and the company of my parents for about 12hrs non-stop. Thus I collapsed into bed around 11pm (sadly missing Ollie's b-day bash) and promised myself that this morning I would have a lie-in (big thing for me, hate having lie-ins, feel guilty, very stubborn). What happens this morning at 9am? A fire alarm drill. Fan-bloody-tastic. I got up, stood outside in the rain for about 10mins and then having decided that I was immensely grouchy, went back to bed. It wasn’t fair! Why today? Humph. Meh.

I would like to introduce you all to Goats.

I recommend you start here:
http://www.goats.com/archive/021223.html

Do not be misled, as there is actually only one goat involved. The other characters are humans (five or so), aliens (two, maybe three), a satanist chicken and a nice-but-dim fish. And an overclocked lemon.

Exploring is best done using the 'random' button. I will also be sporting one of their t-shirts in the near future (i.e. when it arrives). I, personally, name this the Most Amusing Online Comic Of 2004 (2003 was Penny Arcade).

So I'm in the middle of the application process for a master's degree, and I am drowning under the sheer weight of forms. Nine different schools, nine different application forms, each with their own requirements of supplemental materials. For example, Cambridge require two copies of my application form and all supporting materials, which means four references from each referee. Apparently, this is because Cambridge is a federal university, and hence different departments require the form (in this case, the Graduate Board of Admissions, and the History Department). Oxford also requires two such copies, but not of the references (although it does require three references). Yale and Brown are online forms, but require three references.

And so it goes on. By my count, I should have 40 individual references coming back to me, although thankfully they will already be in envelopes that cannot be opened (as they will be signed across the flap and sealed). And doesn't even begin to mention the scholarship applications... I never realised what a useful role UCAS actually played the first time around.

Oxford is very quiet.
Amy isn't here today.

Anyway, I best get my few words in before the other two do about my valiant loss at Scrabble last night. One day I will win, I am sure. But yesterday was not that day. Cruelly, I lost by a point on deductions, as Ollie cleared first (with a canny use of 'nestor', although I don't remember him using it in an appropriate sentence), and I had two 'I's left. It was harsh, but my victory when it comes will be oh so sweet.