There's nothing more annoying than having good stories to tell, but not being able to tell them. It's the reporter's nightmare: the scoop, the exclusive, the thundering top line, gagged for one reason or another.

I've got two tonight. In the first place, I cannot tell you about the friend who could be on the verge of landing a place in the next series of a major BBC1 series. You'd know it, it's a household name and all over the BBC's schedules while it's on air. Final auditions are set to be held soon and my friend is one interview away from, how can I put this, being hired.

See, we usually find a way to tell at least some of the story.

I can tell you my second story, but I can't use the picture that would really sell it to you. It is always disappointing when friends know you well enough that they warn you a photo is under strict copyright when they email it across.

So let me describe the image instead.

My friend Helen, long ginger hair brushing a red dress with black heels, is sat on top of a table - not unlike the kind you'd find in a classroom, relatively small and spartan but sturdy.

She's wearing a nervous smile breaking into a laugh, eyes fixed apprehensively in the middle distance. In one hand is a wine glass, although it looks empty. The other hand is at the end of an outstretched arm, wafting through the air as though she's trying to balance.

She is in a restaurant. Around her, clients of the establishment wear expressions of shock, amazement and delight, much like the waiter stood by the door on the far side of the room.

The reason they are all shocked is the man beneath Helen. Well, beneath and behind. He stands, arms outstretched, holding the entire table - with Helen on board - in his teeth. It is not supported by any other means.

This man - looking middle aged, with a receding hairline and neat moustache brushing the table surface - is George. George is going for a world record for weight lifted by teeth alone. Helen's weight is part of that record.

If only you could see the photo. It's a marvel! Earlier I asked her how she came to be involved in this most bizarre record attempt, which took place in Luxembourg:

"One of my students at the FTD [German Financial Times, where she's an intern] is going to work for the photographer as a translator (because the photographer's English).So she asked me if I had time to come along. Apparently his teeth can take 52kg."

Now I'm not prejudging you or anything, but I reckon you've had a boring day by comparison with Helen.