For the final day of Premiership football in the 2006/07 season, I was sat in front of a PC at work while all around me Five Live and BBC local radio descend into a commentary frenzy.

Here's what could have happened: two of Spurs, Bolton, Reading and Portsmouth could claim the last UEFA Cup qualifying spots. And one of West Ham, Wigan and Sheffield United would go down. What better way to pass the time than keep tabs on the frenetic, violent, often hilarious atmospheres of each team's unofficial fans' message boards? Start at the bottom of the post for chronological order.

16:56

Nothing doing. Reading draw 3-3, a thrilling game to listen to, but no European reward. I'd better go and write the match report. Football's a pretty bloody good sport.

16:49

I have just run nearly the length of the radio station as Reading put the ball in the net a fourth time... only for it to have been ruled out by the referee. For God's sake... but Blackburn have just had a goal disallowed too. This is a very valid sentiment:

"Did anyone think at the start of the season we'd be one goal away from europe? Well done Reading! Whatever happens."

16:43

You know what, sod the message boards, it's too exciting in this newsroom. Reading are level at 3-3 and Villa have just equalised. If either Reading or Villa get another goal, Reading go into Europe. Portsmouth could still ruin all of this if they win and Reading and Bolton draw. Jesus.

16:38

Someone on the Reading message board seems to have a collection of Steve Coppell photos. Every time a goal goes in during any match, a photo of Steve looking suitably vexed appears on the board. Of course it doesn't matter if the goal is for Reading, Blackburn, or indeed anyone else - Steve's expression does not change.

Tell you what, I bet the expression just changed then. As I type, Brynjar Gunnarsson has rifled the ball into the net and it's 3-3. This is pant-wettingly exciting football. Come on Villa.

16:35

By some miracle, West Ham are still ahead at Old Trafford and therefore staying up with room to spare.

"We're close now men! 20 minutes from rewriting history!"

Not sure what they teach the kids of East London in history lessons, but it would appear the textbooks of Plaistow are in for a bit of a tippexing at this rate.

16:31

Sheffield United fans are now in "heart attack alley" according to one Blades fan. They're also going down at this rate. And there'll be no Europe for Reading - Bolton are still winning and the Royals are now 3-2 down, plus there's a scrap going on at Ewood Park. Oh dear oh dear.

16:24

The madness continues. Reading have equalised again through Kevin Doyle but Bolton are still ahead, so Europe is still off. "I'm gonna have a coronary," says one Reading fan. No change at the bottom.

16:16

Blackburn go 2-1 up over Reading and there's all sorts of claims about offside - but Bolton are 2-1 up as well now, so it looks like it's all over. The Reading message board's swear filter replaces swearing with the name of their old local rivals. Most messages on it now simply read:

"Oxf*rd!"

16:08

A Bolton fan (remember, challenging Reading etc for Europe) has posted a "wanted" list:

"A hat-trick from Anelka
A double hatrick from Cristiano Ronaldo or some other Man U player
Sheff Utd v Wigan - no change"

You get the feeling not many people want West Ham United to stay in the division. This doesn't matter to their fans:

"45 minutes to keep a clean sheet and win £35 million!"

16:05

All the games are about to get underway again. "This is terrible," says one Sheffield United fan. "Don't give in!" Says another. "Give 'em hell!"

15:50

West Ham have conjured up a goal and that'll keep them up in style at this rate. It's half time almost everywhere, but Wigan have got a penalty. Can they score? YES. Sheffield United now going down. There is a ridiculous amount of action this afternoon.

15:40

Jesus Christ it's all happening. Villa have equalised at Bolton so if Reading get a second, that'll put them into Europe. City have got a goal back at Spurs. But more importantly, Sheffield United have equalised against Wigan and as things stand, Wigan are now going down. Who - who - would be a football fan?

There were rumours before these games that Sheffield United and Wigan would conspire to send West Ham down. The West Ham fans are starting to think this is unlikely:

"Sheffield United now know how it feels to be in that drop zone on the last day. They will not want to be back there. F*ck helping Wigan out."

15:37

Seol Ki-Hyeon's equalised for Reading. Maybe it's not all over yet - come on Villa. That goal timed at five minutes after one Reading fan posted the following analysis:

"Seol is a tosser."

One minute after the goal:

"I take it back. He is a bit of a tosser."

15:33

With the European dream being cruelly ripped away from them, Reading fans are descending into a little in-fighting, replete with the sort of sarcasm you can only find on internet message boards.

ddetisi: "It's Paul Merson's fault! He tipped us for Europe!"
nivek elyod: "I think it's probably our fault because we let the ball cross our goal line."

Bolton have just gone a goal up against Villa and Spurs are 2-0 up over Man City, so there's really only one European spot up for grabs and at the moment it's comfortably Bolton's. Sheffield United are currently going down but if West Ham go behind at Man Utd, it'll be them instead.

15:28

West Ham fans want Sheffield United to win, which would keep them both up at Wigan's expense. Sheffield United look more likely to field Elvis and Shergar as second half substitutes. Anger ensues from the West Ham camp:

"Colin's lot look like schoolboys."

"Emile Heskey in 'good game' shocker. Of all the days."

"Colin" is Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock. It's an anagram. Work it out.

15:24

Blackburn have gone 1-0 up over Reading, which is the equivalent of lightly tapping the first couple of nails into the coffin of Reading's European dreams. God, what a sentence that was. Marcus Hahnemann got thwacked over the head in the build-up and he'll have to go off.

"Blackburn 1-0 GAYNESS!" Exclaims "Kitson12" on the Reading board.

I didn't know Gayness had a team. They must have some incredible chants.

15:20

"Could have done with a favour from City," says young Borat-face the Reading fan, which is like saying I could do with Jennifer Lopez underneath the desk. Enjoyable thought, phenomenally unlikely.

15:16

Wigan are a goal up. The swear filter is replacing entire posts on the Sheffield United board with asterisks. Over on the West Ham board, they're all repeating the Wigan score to each other. If Wigan win and West Ham lose, it's curtains for the Hammers.

15:10

Man City are already behind at Spurs, which definitely doesn't help Reading's European chances. Of course, being a Man City fan, this result could have been predicted months, nay, years ago. Still, it's annoying to see it happen.

West Ham fans are giving each other "online hugs" on their message board. Meanwhile, on the Bolton board, one fan is verging on pessimism:

"We will lose by 12 goals to nil. All scored by Thomas Sorensen."

15:05

"cmonurz", Reading fan with small picture of Borat next to his name: "Legia Warsaw here we come!"

No one has scored yet. Slightly premature from the Borat fans.

14:55

Steve Coppell on BBC local radio, Five Live discussing the weather for Sheffield United v Wigan.

Pursey, on the Knees Up Mother Brown forum (West Ham): "F*ckin' do it."