Every schoolboy knows, or pretends, that when it comes to revision time, treats are every bit as important as books. This is why, after a successful few days swatting for my 'how to run a bus company' exam, I decided to enjoy a night of sheer indulgence. I cooked myself steak (Tournedos Rossini, no less, a dish so rich it will almost certainly kill me by morning), I opened a bottle of something nice, and I unleashed Colin Farrell in Phone Booth, a film I've been meaning to watch since it came out years ago.

If you haven't seen it, 81 minutes of thrilling action centres around a New York telephone box, as a crazed sniper takes hold of its occupant and puts him through just about every dilemma you can imagine, via a telephone. Gripping stuff in an odd sort of way, and not least because you're being terrified only by the voice of Keifer Sutherland, who probably delivered every line from an out-of-vision booth roughly the size of a telephone kiosk, and came about as close to a gun as he did to my Tournedos. (I'd have killed anybody who'd come within feet of it, by the way.)

But if you have seen it, and you thought the call Colin Farrell received was alarming, just imagine picking up this voicemail this afternoon...

"This is a message for Mr Richard Henderson. My name is Francesca, I'm calling from Baddams Law. I've just received your voicemail in response to my previous calls to you in relation to the matter of Plummer and Fenny.

I just wanted to let you know, I've given your phone number... well... for the Chambers... to the defendant, who might call you if he's got any queries for the hearing on the Thursday. Also, the witness, Mr Fernandino, well... I haven't been able to get in touch because the petrol station he worked at was knocked down and rebuilt, and he's relocated to a different workplace... but we do have the statements which we can keep in reserve if it all goes badly - don't know how useful that will be.

Anyway, do call me if you have any queries."

Sufficient is it to say, having received this at around 4 o'clock this afternoon, I did have one or two queries, and I did call her to make it perfectly clear I would not be receiving any calls from the defendant on Thursday. Sadly, Francesca herself was unavailable to take my call in person, but the lady answering the telephone didn't seem in the slightest bit surprised that her colleague had been revealing sensitive information to the answerphone of Mr One-digit-out. Instead, she let out a faint sigh, almost beyond despair, and as if to say "oh, okay - it's happened again", rattled off that she'd "send an email round". They even have a procedure for it.

Let's hope the message gets through, otherwise I could find myself incriminated in some awful court case of which I know nothing. It could well end up with my being pointed at by a sniper in a telephone box. It would certainly buy me some time off from my revision. Suddenly Friday seems a long way away...