Bitter experience tells us that we should never expect things in life to appear as they do in the picture. Amy and OJ certainly received something of a shock on Saturday, when they realised I'm nothing like the rather average-looking twentysomething who appears in my place on the Dayorama banner, but actually a 7ft tall, tanned sex-god. I assume that's why they both gasped.

Usually though, it's a disappointment we prepare ourselves for when visiting a holiday destination we've seen (post-Colourist) on our television screens, or removing food from an optimistically illustrated box. When was the last time your Big Mac looked anything like the giant portrayal on Ronald McDonald's price list?

When this extends to ordering some flat-packed furniture, we go one step further in our anticipation. Sense tells us to prepare for the inevitable disaster on wonky wheels, which after hours of hard graft and Allen key embossed fingers, looks just about fit for the bin.

I was fully expecting this to be the case with my new desk.

What I wasn't expecting was to find it in the bin in the first place.

This is how I met my new desk, roughly three hours into the five hour delivery window I'd been given yesterday afternoon. It was a chance encounter brought about by a need to visit the wheelie bin, and indeed the only moment where I'd dared to stray from the front window in case I missed the delivery van's arrival (our doorbell is currently out of action). No van had appeared, so we can only assume that delivery had taken place earlier in the day, and in the spirit of my relationship with Argos so far, their man had decided to ditch the goods in the least obvious/probably most suitable place. Remember, I paid for this 'service'.

Actually, in spite of my frustration at waiting three hours for a man who'd already been, the desk has proved a surprisingly good purchase. It was fairly easy to assemble, and although bought only as a temporary measure (which inevitably means it will end up outlasting me and my grandchildren), it seems built to last. It does everything the billing suggested it would.

Some final wall fixings are needed, then I might consider presenting a photograph to you. If you've any sense, you'll never believe how good it looks - but I reckon it actually does.

Well done Argos. Nearly...