Sexy eyes, huh?

Look left, and you'll see the familiar headlamp of a traditional VW Beetle, its lens as thick as NHS spectacles, bolted down with a chunky chrome rim to suit. Look right, and find the sleek, apparently simplified lines of the VW New Beetle headlamp.

The one on the right is identical to the headlamp of the VW Beetle I drive, and in common with mine, it's not actually shining. For some days now, my driver's side headlamp has been out of action, and it doesn't take an expert to realise the bulb is at fault. However, it apparently does take an expert to change the said bulb. Question is, how many?

The four-page guide to "Replacing bulbs" found in the owner's giant handbook, prefaces its instructions with a warning that "There is a potentially fatal risk when working with vehicles ... if the high voltage part of the lamp is handled incorrectly!". A worthy exclamation mark, indeed.

It also points out that "Special skills are required to carry out this work". One glance under the bonnet, and you begin to feel it may be right.

Quite aside from the intricacies of bulb replacement, you have a finger-sized space through which to access the headlamp itself, between the engine, washer bottle and brake-fluid reservoir. This is not a job to be undertaken even by the anthropometrically sound, let alone anybody whose fingers are as chubby as mine. (At least my hands are small enough to appreciate the irony of the so called 'handbook').

Enquiries at my local garage put greasy nail prints on the head of the world's most helpful mechanic. My father - a mechanical engineer - is puzzled. There is even a web forum (started by a thirteen year old girl, no less) dedicated to discussing the task.

One thing is certain. Since I've been investigating the world of broken headlamps, I've become aware that we're in the midst of a bulb-blowing epidemic. So many cars these days are driving with one eye closed, and as I now know, not necessarily through the apathy of their owners. I don't believe this is an issue unique to the VW Beetle (which, by the way, I've found to be top-notch in almost every other respect), but part of a widespread attempt at driving us to the garage for even the most routine of maintenance procedures. Another assault on the wallet.

Returning to the headlamp on the left (first designed under Adolf Hitler and Ferdinand Porsche in 1938)... three turns of a flat-headed screwdriver would separate rim, lens and back, and enable the bulb to be changed in seconds.

Advancement through technology, anyone?