Half time in the Brazil v Croatia game and all the talk is about how Brazil have disappointed by being merely very, very good rather than the unspeakable force of brilliance anticipated beforehand. Well, almost all the talk is about that. The rest of the talk is about Ronaldo being a fat pie, or words to that effect.

"He just looks so big!", quoth Alan Hansen.

"He's just not with it, he's not at the races, he looks like somebody whose girlfriend's dumped him just before the game," adds the ever insightful Ian Wright.

"He'll probably score a hat-trick now," concludes Hansen. Ronaldo is the last to trudge out for the second half.

And now, as promised, footage of another team in yellow and green scoring. This was the Togo goal against South Korea earlier today. Watch the celebration, which looks for all the world like a series of mini-kangaroo hops. I have no idea what is supposed to be going on.