| A quick round-up of a few things I've been meaning to mention:
Commiserations to my dad, who failed his driving theory test last night. Happily for him the swine got his licence aeons ago, so falling one mark short of the pass percentage on the mock version I've got on my PC wasn't the end of his world. My stepmum then getting two extra marks and passing it might have been, though. My exam's tomorrow, so I note with a wry smile that OJ has succeeded in booking lunch with me in Oxford just before it starts, allowing him plenty of opportunity to sow the seeds of schadenfreude that will no doubt blossom if I fail it.
On that note, if you never did the Hazard Perception tests, think yourself lucky. You have to click every time you see a hazard, potential or developing, on the screen. One hazard for each clip shown gets marked for reaction time between hazard first appearing and click, from a maximum of 5 marks down to 1. But each clip has around 15 hazards in it, so you don't know which hazard will get marked. Things like cars parked half on the kerb and half off it are losing me marks because I'm more worried about the eighteen-wheeler with its hazard lights on in heavy rain, around which a man with a guide dog is walking.
A couple of good stories from today's MediaGuardian:
- The rise of "participation TV", i.e. premium phone quizzes promising big prizes. (Lovely screengrab of Richard and Judy with the word 'Cheese' above their heads in that article.)
- Peter and Dan Snow are coming back with another of their battlefield series, this time going all around the world.
Don't forget to watch the "Recommended Reading" box on the right of the homepage, below our prospects and the Dayoramap link, for more articles I think are worth a go. And thanks to old pals Bloggers Blog for using me as an example when reporting Google Reader's addition of that kind of "sharing" capability.
Finally, a website to keep you occupied if you don't have much to do - "Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About". Not my girlfriend, you understand, but author Mil Millington's - and he's made a couple of books out of this. If you've not seen this yet though, it's worth a quick look. It's one big, long page with loads of little girlfriendy anecdotes on it, so it's probably wise to pick and choose. This example's a long one, but I thought it rang true, stick with it...
It's Wednesday the 12th of February. It's early evening. Margret and I are sitting in the living room. Margret has asked me to do something the following day.
Mil: 'I can't, I'm afraid. I'm going into town.'
Margret: 'Why? What do you need to go to town for?'
Mil: 'Oh, I have to get some stuff.'
Margret: 'What stuff?'
Mil: 'Just some stuff... things.'
Margret: 'What things?'
Mil: 'Various things.'
Margret: 'What things?'
Mil: 'What does it matter?'
Margret: 'What things?'
Mil: 'It's not important what specific things, is it? I have to get things or I wouldn't be cycling into town, would I? All that's relevant here is that I have to go, not the details of the individual items I need to get - there's no point wasting time giving you a big list, when the only significant point is that I need to go to town.'
Margret: 'What things?'
Mil: 'Oh, for Christ's sake... Pizzas. I need to buy some pizzas, OK?'
Margret: 'We've got pizzas.'
Mil: 'We've got a pizza.'
Margret: 'So? How many do you need?'
Mil: 'Several. I want to have several in the fridge.'
Margret: 'Why?'
Mil: 'So that we have a stock of them.'
Margret: 'Why?'
Mil: 'So that we don't run out, obviously.'
Margret: 'What would happen if we ran out?'
Mil: 'I'd have to go to town.'
This flings itself out of my mouth while my higher brain is still racing along behind it frantically waving its arms and shouting, 'Wait! Wait!'
Margret responds with just the tiniest movement of her eyebrows. Absolutely minuscule. Sufficient in size, however, to make me wonder if I could get a UN resolution to have her bombed.
Mil: 'I have to get other things too.'
Margret: 'What things?'
Mil: 'What the bloody hell does it matter? Why can't I go to town if I want to, for God's sake?'
Margret: 'Why are you being secretive? What are you up to?'
Mil: 'I'm not up to anything.'
Margret: 'Yes you are.'
Mil: 'Like what?'
Margret: 'I don't know.'
Mil: 'Because there isn't anything.'
Margret: 'Yes there is - I can tell.'
Mil: 'There isn't.'
Margret: 'You bloody liar.'
Mil: 'You bloody mad woman.'
Margret: 'Tell me.'
Mil: 'Stop talking now.'
Margret: 'Tell me.'
Mil: 'I...'
Margret: 'Tell me.'
I think we've both risen to our feet by this point (it allows for better voice projection).
Mil: 'OK! OK! You want to know why I need to go up town, you relentless harridan?!'
Margret: ''Yes! You lying swine!'
Mil: 'So I can get your Valentine's Day card! So I can get your bloody Valentine's Day card and post it to here - so it'll arrive as a nice surprise through the post!'
A tiny flicker. It's the merest stutter of hesitation, though, then she's back on track before the beat is really lost.
Margret: 'You don't need to get me a bloody Valentine's Day card!'
(I can't imagine what makes her think she's going to get away with this move - she must be getting old.)
Mil: 'Too bad! Because I'm getting you a Valentine's Day card! And I'm posting it to you! Tomorrow! When I go to town!'
Margret: 'THERE'S NO BLOODY NEED!'
Mil: 'WELL IT'S GOING TO BLOODY HAPPEN - GET USED TO IT!'
And, indeed, I do go to town, buy her a card, and post it. Inside I write, 'Surprise!' She gets it on Valentine's Day and says, 'Thank you,' to me, through gritted teeth. (She gets me one too, by the way - it reads, "I'm not interested in a nice, normal relationship... I like ours better.") |
Comments so far: 2
You're OK. I'll be friendly and chirpy, and happy just to live with your typo on "know".
Feck. Duly corrected! The shame of it.
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