How my Mum and I Christmas Shop...?!

Leave home at 9.00am
Get to Bluewater 9.35ish.
Window shop (for rings, earrings etc) until stores open at 10.00am.
Begin in John Lewis clothes department.
Purchase a mop (not in clothes dept) for my laminate floor. It is some static cleaning cloth thing.
Decide to purchase knee high boots - well, I've always wanted some!
Manage to buy some Christmas cards (religious - really annoyed with non-Charity secular crap) and purple decorations for the orange Christmas tree - I kid you not. Paperchase has a lot to answer for.
Have lunch: £50. Italian. Red wine. Pudding.
Leave lunch feeling in mood to spend money do not have.
Purchase short skirt.
Mum manages to buy cousin's baby a present. Complain about the packaging of baby presents in the Early Learning Centre. A wood block thing with holes to push the shapes into - you know the ones? On the box it reads (like some food nutrition analysis): stimulating, aids hand-eye coordination, improves confidence, and some other skills. It is designed for a baby aged 6-12mths. Give them the box and some wrapping paper and they'd still have bloody hand-eye coordination and stimpulation. Stupid.
Get really angry with the recently changed and now stupid layout of M+S
Decide it's about time to have a coffee. Assess respective "present lists". We have each bought one present. Not good for the whole "today we will buy all Xmas presents, shop".
Have a wander and pick up a few more things.
Get home at 6.40pm.
Collapse.

Bloody good day all in all! Now skint. With capital S. And still have to buy Xmas presents!!