As Sheryl Crow might say, apropos of nothing, Taunton School have put an advertisement for a Geography teacher into The Bridge, Oxford's Careers newsletter. As you might expect, this made two of us very excited:

Dear Mr Beale,

RE: Advertisement in The Bridge, Oxford University Careers Service.

Following your recent advertisement, we would like to put forward a joint application for the vacancy in the Geography department. Although our expertise falls outside of the description given, we feel that we offer a versatile range of alternative skills that are suitable for the position.

Specifically, between us we have two A* GCSE grades in Geography. One of us has a deep interest in Anglo-Saxon geography, with special reference to the role of monasteries in rural economic life and the development of settlements (an increase in the proportion of monks living in towns and cities). They are like favelas, but British.

We also pride ourselves not only on the ability to do the pen trick (honed through three years of practice), but also a world renowned cow impression. Moreover, we form the backbone of the lush and juicy chorus, an important teaching method of agriculture, as recommended by the DfES.

Furthermore, we could bring a wide range of skills to the pastoral and sporting sides of the job. As well as playing cricket and rugby, we have skills in croquet and (pub) golf.

As Oxford graduates, and historians, we have expertise in the use of long words and punctuation. We also like graphs. Combined with our passionate feelings for Taunton and the Somerset region, we believe that we would make an excellent member of the Taunton School Geography team.

Yours sincerely,

Oliver J. Wooding BA Hons (Oxon) [nearly]
Oliver C. Williams BA Hons (Oxon) [hopefully]