There's a plague of locusts gathering in Africa. A few weeks ago it was in Australia. Let's go through the list, shall we?

1. Waters turn to blood
It is widely believed that over the next century, the vast majority of global conflicts will be over the scarcity of clean water.

2. Invasion of frogs
Immigration concerns aside (which would be merely an Invasion from the Land of the Frogs), the people of Moses are going to be set free until the frogs die and begin to decay and smell, at which point Pharoah prohibits their departure. Increased global waste, anyone?

3. Lice
Numerous interpretations, I would have thought. You could have narrow interpretation as uncleanliness, perhaps disease related to waste (above) and flies (below); or, perhaps, lice as parasites on society, terrorism? Yes, this is my entry into Private Eye's Warballs.

4. Flies
Ravaging and looting by 'flies' on the back of increasing global anarchy when faced with terrorism.

5. Cattle start dying
Decay of agriculture and global food supplies on the back of earlier woes.

6. Boils on humans and animals
People become seriously ill and bubonic plague makes an unwelcome return as worldwide food and water shortages lead to severe malnutrition and squalor.

7. Hail
Global warming switches off the jet stream, plunging Britain (not to mention vast swathes of the rest of the world) into a Siberian climate. cf: The Day After Tomorrow.

8. Locusts
Well it's steadily growing, isn't it? Two continents already affected.

9. Darkness
Global warming or nuclear fallout?

10. Killing of all male first-born
End of the world as we know it. Could either mean the collapse of world order, or the obliteration of the entire race.

I should stop writing essays so late into the night. I'm starting to think that the above is simply wishful thinking so that I don't have to finish this ("Sorry Dr Maddicott, I didn't complete my essay because locusts ate my paper, I couldn't see a thing for three days and then angels tried to kill me.")