As we are all aware, Oxford is famous for its bikes. Both students and tutors can be seen riding them everywhere. It is easy to nearly get run-over by a speedy cyclist – especially when one steps out onto the Turl without looking or decides to cross over randomly at the KA… Today, I was witness to three amusing incidents involving cyclists. The first one was occurred whilst I was in the company of a certain Mr Williams. The cyclist in question appeared to falter in front of us, come off his bike, check his brakes, decided they were ok and the gingerly ride off. However, he continued to check his rear brake pads, whilst cycling. This involved him riding his bike with one hand on his handlebars and the other through his legs - rather like an elephant scratching his backside with his trunk. At any rate, it was an amusing sight and complicated by the fact that I had to be restrained from totally cracking up – very loudly. The second incident was when I saw someone swerve rapidly around an oncoming pedestrian, only to be greeted with a Lance Armstrong figure on a bike, coming in the opposite direction, also aiming to avoid the said pedestrian. As a consequence, the two bikes crashed into each other and the pedestrian walked away oblivious to the carnage she had caused. The last, and funniest was also on the Turl. I was standing in Lincoln lodge; a cyclist went passed and then suddenly fell off his bike backwards. His seat scooted off behind him. It’s the first time I have witnessed the seat come off a bike – good job the guy leapt off, rather than having a pole up his backside. Ouch.

And the moral of the story – stick to busses; taxis; cars; trains and walking – bugger bikes!