Okay, they don't entirely fail me (sorry to dash the hopes of a nation), but ITV's 'The Premiership' can and has got worse. Football fans, i.e. those who do not support Manchester United, had been certain that last season's coverage was as biased, one-dimensional and laughably poor as could be achieved. However, tuning in tonight it quickly became obvious that in their final season before handing the coverage back to a television station that retains a fragment of respect for its viewers, ITV were out to surpass themselves.

Now, by way of a disclaimer, yes, I am a Manchester City fan. Normally I would admit that it's just a case of sour grapes against our 'more illustrious neighbours' (the cheating, diving shits). But this, this was purely and simply Manchester United TelevisionTM, right from the opening credits which fade out with the image of a United player and a trophy in Old Trafford, to the thirty or forty minutes devoted to their match (when did they last not feature?), to the fifteen minutes of Manchester United interviews on ITV News's 'Extra Coverage' (a half hour programme).

That is just not fair. City didn't even play today so I can hardly complain that we didn't get airtime, but the level of coverage afforded to the other teams was paltry at best. Surprise surprise, Arsenal also featured (just like every weekend last season), and ITV only relented and screened Portsmouth v Aston Villa because Liverpool and Chelsea, their other pet teams, had had the audacity to play on Sunday instead (the swines).

If you didn't see it, or don't follow football, you will never quite grasp how appalling The Premiership is, so I might as well save my breath. But my word am I annoyed. Come back Gary Lineker, rescue us from this cesspit of ineptitude.